Our Stance on Awareness

I just finished my blog post... read it to my husband, read it to my mama.  "No, " they said.  Try again.

They were right.  I was harsh, I was defensive, I was discussing the extreme and negative viewpoints concerning dwarfism that exist in our society.  My husband asked, "Why did you take that approach?" I responded, "I want everyone to know what is out there so they can see why it is so necessary to be an advocate for dwarfism.  To show how much more work needs to be done in our society."  Did I mention that October is Dwarfism Awareness Month?

But I don't want to be that.  I am choosing to not do that. (Thanks husband and mama.)  And thanks alot to my dear friend Tiffany who is challenging all of us to choose kindness for one week straight.  (Dang it!  Lol) {Week of Kindness} I am all about choosing joy and I am taking that approach in this post: talking about dwarfism awareness.

I love my daughter.  She is the air I breathe, the song I sing, the light in my life.  She has taught me more in one year than I could have ever learned in a school setting.  Mostly, she has taught be to be compassionate, understanding and kind.  She has taught me to celebrate life and not hide behind in the shadows.  She has taught me that different is oh so lovely and being comfortable in your own skin is the fastest way to happiness.

Before Lilah, I had little to no experiences with a little person.  I had never seen the reality TV shows where little peoples' lives were featured, I had never met a little person personally and I can say that little people never crossed my mind.  Chances are, you could say this about yourself too...

I struggle to communicate this next point... both of my children are so unique to me.  I see them for who they are, the glimpses into their future and their silly little personalities.  It is difficult when all I do is talk about how different they are to me and yet I want you to see them as a same as everyone else.  I think parents can understand this paradox. 

In following our story, getting to know Lilah, supporting her, rooting her on and loving her... you are helping to shed light to all of those with dwarfism.  I am a believer in people and until someone proves me wrong, I will always give someone the benefit of the doubt that intentions are good.  In my experience in the last year, we have had nothing but honest curiosity and productive questions about Lilah and her diagnosis.  {And perhaps it is because I live in one of the best places to live... look it up, it's true CNN Best Places to Live.  I love my town, just saying...}   Yes, we may get lots of sideways looks and I know the thoughts running through their heads sound something like this, "How in the world is that 3 month old almost walking!" Lol... But, in all honesty, people have been so good to us.  I have so much faith in people.

When it comes to dwarfism awareness, as a family, we have decided to let people into our lives.  We want the world to see our daughter as Lilah and to take the mystery out of dwarfism.  It is a rare condition and odds are likely that unless you found this blog because you have a connection to dwarfism, Lilah may be the only little person you "know."  Because of the history of dwarfism and some current views and exploitations that still occur in our society, it is important to my daughter's future for us to share her story.  And her story is one of victory, perseverance, and beauty.  (But she's not even one!  How can she already exhibit perseverance?  If you spent two minutes with her... you would giggle at her determination.  Ain't nothin' gonna slow her down.)

For each time a little person passes in from of your eyes via TV, social media, internet... I am hoping the experience is positive and you smile.  Not because that individual is a little person... for a different reason.  Perhaps they are chasing a dream, or smiling themselves, or having fun or loving life.  To me, this is how we raise awareness.  We teach, we love, we show kindness, we lose the chip on our shoulder, we see the good in people, we work as a team.  Different but same.  Capable, loved, unique... just like you.

You.  You have been a part of this team for a year now (if not longer).  When you share the blog, share our story, share our photos... you are taking the turn as an advocate for Lilah and for dwarfism.  You may think nothing of it... but you are making a difference.  I tend to go to the extreme in cases like this and think, "What if everyone was doing that?  What if no one was doing that?  What kind of world would this be?"  If everyone was accepting differences, putting kindness first and focusing on good... people would be touched.  And the later... I shudder to think about that.  Reaching people, caring for people, loving people... that is the whole point.  (And check out my buddy's incredible website: Understanding Dwarfism... he has dedicated his whole life to raising awareness.  And, he's amazing.)

"But you can't change the world!!" What does it mean to change the world?  If I have affected someone, I have changed the world and I am good with that.  "But I don't always want to be an advocate!!" That is fine... to each their own.  I do always want to be an advocate.  It was a role that was dropped in my lap, one that I gladly accepted.  If I have the chance to teach, I will.  My daughter may not share that opinion... that is her choice and this is mine.  "Don't you get sick of people always asking you about her size?"  Nope.  That's because I have decided to not let it bother me.  She is small, that is a fact.  Sometimes people feel the need to tell you about your child.  And as weird as that is, I understand it.  "Why in raising awareness and starting this blog do you have to be so honest in telling how you thought initially about having a daughter with dwarfism?  Aren't you worried you will offend little people?"  Hmmmm.... the hard question.  It is never my intention to offend anyone, especially someone that is a part of an organization that has been so critical in my healing.  When I first wrote my initial blog posts about "finding out" I immediately called me new LP friends and seeked their understanding.  They did.  Why?  Because... this is a story with a beginning, a middle and someday an ending.  I started with the truth.  That's all I knew to do... I didn't sugar-coat it, I didn't exaggerate it.  I told it like it happened.  I am not proud of how I felt initially, but I am proud of how I have changed since those beginning days.  If I didn't tell you the whole story, how could anyone relate, how could I help anyone and how could anyone understand how these challenges can be overcome.  All I have is my story and I have a feeling that someday my daughter will be proud of me for sharing the whole truth so I could in turn help others. {Yes, these are all questions I am asked frequently... I am always welcome to answering questions.}

I am thankful in this month especially for our friends in the LP Community that are also doing their part to educate and share their stories.  I have absolutely loved it and I have learned so much.  And Courtney Simross... you are the wittiest person I have ever "met."  Love you girl!  To all of my fellow bloggers... thank you for being brave to share your story.  The teamwork in this community to raise awareness together is so beautiful... we are all here to celebrate our lives, our differences, our loves.

One Year Anniversary

I woke up this morning and I looked at the calendar on my phone.  I scrolled 12 times to last October and there it was.  THE doctor appointment.  There was nothing special about it.  It just said: Ultrasound  2:15.  My mind went back... back to that day.

Let me tell ya, it was already shaping up to be the worst day ever.  I took Clay to the doctor in the morning for a check-up.  As soon as I got into the car I felt a wave of nausea.  I drove twenty feet to the gas station where I couldn't even make it out of the car before I was getting sick.  And then I proceeded to get sick at the curve.  My dress was soaked.  I was a crying mess.  It wasn't 30 minutes later when Clay did the exact same thing.  Let's just say, I was already in survival mode that day.  Looking back... of course I was.  I am a very intuitive person.   I was four hours away from getting life-changing news.  I think part of me already knew and my sub-conscious was coming to the surface.  When my ultrasound that day took way too long and when the technician didn't say anything... I kind of had a sense of something.

And yet the words hit me like a freight train.

They knocked me off my feet.  And I can tell you that I left a part of myself on that doctor's office floor and if I ever returned to that room again, I think I would quietly shut the door and lose myself on that floor again.  I would cry for that part of me I left behind.  That girl was naive, but guarded.  Entitled while incomplete.  I feel sad for that girl for she didn't know what she had when she had it.  I wish I could have shaken her and said, "You have everything right in front of you to be happy-- truly happy." And when things did not go her way, she was devastated.  Let me tell you... I am so glad that part of me was left behind.  I got a second chance at my happiness.  The process was was ugly and forced and difficult. When I left that room, I was very much broken.  There was a gaping hole from the me that was gone...

A year has passed.  Today, I let myself become swallowed in emotion as I read and reread our first e-mails to friends and family, our letters to our children before Lilah's birth, our letter to new parents of a little one and Lilah's birth story.  There is still pain there for me.  Pain in remembering how it felt to hear those words.  Pain in the fear of the unknown.  Pain in the future suffering we did for her.  But mostly, I wince with pain and sorrow for the time where I didn't understand how wonderful this news was for our family.

My doctor said exactly a year ago today, "In one year, you are going to wish nothing was different."

Those words were empty to me then.  In my mind, they were borderline offensive.  "How is this guy going to tell me how to feel about this?"  I couldn't make sense of them and I certainly didn't believe him.  In hindsight, I imagine I thought, "Well, I suppose we will get use to the idea and this word will sting less and less each time we hear it."  I had NO idea exactly HOW much these words would be a positive influence on our lives.  At the time, I could have never imagined that.  What has unfolded in the last year has been truly astonishing and nothing short of a miracle.  How much we have changed, how other lives have been affected by this sweet girl, how many fabulous people we now have the pleasure to call friends, how she really is moving mountains.  It is unreal and everyday, I have moments where I am left in complete awe of the whole situation.  One year later... we can proudly (and loudly--we want to shout from the rooftops), "WE WISH NOTHING WAS DIFFERENT!"

I am giddy with life.  Seriously giggly and smiley and punch-drunk-love kind of giddy.  I am the happiest I have ever been.  From a year ago to being pushed off the edge into that dark ravine where I was scared out of my mind and hollering for help, to turning around and having the courage to take steps forward to start the journey of "different than expected," to learning how to be grateful for the journey and finding beauty in the growth along the way, to being so overwhelmingly thankful to God for having the opportunity to go on this journey in the first place.  There is so much peace in allowing Him to choose our path for us, accepting our role given to us by Him in this life and loving everything along the way.

At ten-months old Lilah is such a light in our eyes.  She is so perfect to us and we are beyond smitten with her.  If you were to meet her, first you would notice her eyes.  They are like reflecting pools.  You can see the world in her eyes; they are so deep, soulful and mesmerizing.  Next you would notice her smile.  You would think you were special because you made her light up and giggle and grin.  I would not tell you that she is like this to everyone.  And then you would notice her personality.  She has so much spunk and fire and ambition.  After being with her for a few minutes, you would already know that she is going to be a leader, do great things and go after what she wants.  She is getting ready to take her first steps and in the next couple of months we will get to witness her walking.  It's like she's saying to the world, "I got this... don't worry about me."

And while I think I should have been happy all along... it was really her that I needed to be complete.  We needed her to find ourselves and although we feel many steps closer to where we are going, we know we have much more in store for the future.  Our work is just beginning.

And to you... my family, my friends, my readers, my cheerleaders, my fellow-mamas, my lpa community, my hometown, my new town...you.  I think I shed some of my biggest tears for you today.  Why on earth you have embraced us like you have, I will never know.  The outpouring of love, the additions to our village, the safety net created... you are a part of that.  On days where you feel less than worthy...just remember how much of a difference you have made in our lives just by reaching out your arms.  You are important.  SO important to us.

I still try to take this one day at a time.  But, I don't fear the future anymore.  I look forward to it.  I have her.  I have them.  I have all I ever need.

God bless you and thank you for being a part of our story.  Just by reading you are helping our advocacy to spread awareness to dwarfism.  With October being Dwarfism Awareness Month, I will be talking a lot more about this topic coming up.  For now, we are grateful for our 365 days of growth and we look forward to celebrating with our hometown this weekend! XOXO 

Photography by http://www.michelletiekphotography.com/

Family Featured!

Our family is featured in the latest Fort Wayne Family Magazine!  Check it out...

http://issuu.com/kpcmedia/docs/family092013?e=4200578/4729411

Chasing Dreams...

It was like Christmas this past week when I got to open the boxes stuffed full of my childhood memories.  They have been dormant for over eight years and a part of me wondered if I had lost them all together.  They were found.  Thank God.

I have a memory like my father's.  I could tell you story after story after story from my earlier years.  And with each box, envelope, photo album and yearbook... I relived all of those wonderful moments one by one.

My husband was giggling at my high school grades... apparently he thought I was a better than a B-C student.  He laughed out loud at some of my final exam grades that showed up as D's and an F.  And then, there was my favorite report card where I crossed out all of my grades and gave myself all A's.  That's more like it (and just like me).  I explained to him that I wasn't very good at studying and that I struggled to see things the way everybody else did.  It made answering multiple choice questions difficult because I could probably come up with a creative answer to make all of the choices a possibility.  And that all makes sense now... because of what I found next...

The "your child may be hyper-active if..." questionnaire filled out by my teacher and my mom.  It was the first time I laid my eyes on it.  And it made me giggle.  Because while yes, I was squirrelly and always in motion and way too silly (and I probably do have some form of ADHD), all signs pointed to the one box my mom checked under the word "always"-- DAYDREAMS.

Bingo.  That pretty much sums me up.  I am a dreamer.
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It will be a year in October since we learned about Lilah's diagnosis.  I think about me a year ago.  Before I heard the news... carefree but restless, happy but unsatisfied, present but not fully there.  A little scattered, frustrated and on the side of pessimism for sure.

I woke up one morning in November... with Lilah's delivery only days away and I realized all the leaves from the trees were either brown or gone.  I had missed it-- the most amazing time of year where the bright colors contrast the blue/gray sky, where the leaves crunch under your feet with every step, where the wind plays with the air and brings in that distinct "fall" smell.  I had missed it all.  I was in a fog.  I was still wrapping my head around my new normal and I was so nervous for the upcoming birth.  Questions were filing my headspace and just repeating over and over again with no way to quiet them except to wait... time would tell.  Would she look like other newborns?  Would she have to have surgery immediately? Would we be able to hold her? Would people feel sorry for us? Would she pass all of her newborn screenings? Will everyone be excited? And the one that haunted me... Will she survive?

That thought kills me.  I didn't know her very well then.  She was my daughter and I loved her for her little movements inside of me and for what she was going to be.  But now looking back... I can't imagine life without her.  I am so glad I didn't have to have that thought for too long.  And I know mamas that were not as lucky as me and they had to face that question with a different answer than I got and thinking about that now is leaving me in tears.  My heart is absolutely breaking for those mamas.  I know I am the lucky one.  I had a slight inclining then, I know it now.

I have learned so much this past year.  About dwarfism, advocacy, the special needs community, strangers ready to life others up and how to be there for others.  And a whole lot about me and life.  
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Yes, I am a dreamer... and you know I will encourage my children to be the same.  I want to always lead by example and teach my babies that life is an adventure: you make it what you want.  And so, I am actively chasing my own dreams... (that nagging thought that hasn't gone away for 13 years... the one that I can't go a few minutes without thinking about... that one thing that I am super passionate about.)  So watch me kiddos go after my dream and then someday I will help you do the same.

I don't won't to ever wake up knowing I missed the leaves turning ever again.  I have learned that life is so precious, love what you have and there is no time like the present.   Dream big my little ones (and big ones too.)  Now go and make it happen. XOXO

On Love, Life & Happiness

Well isn't that an ambitious title for a post.  I know.  And I have been ruminating about these thoughts a lot lately.

On love.

I have to be honest... it has been a little overwhelming to read all of the comments on the blog.  The positive filled me with so much encouragement.  It caused many random smiles throughout my day when I would read words that spoke to my heart.  I loved hearing other stories, experiences and perspectives on the topics of short or different or acceptance.  On the flip side, the negative had me spinning a bit.  Part of me thought, this is good for me... makes me stronger, allows me to open my mind, tests my patience... and the other part... yeah.  I mumbled some choice words under my breath and wrote the nicest response I could manage.
Here's the thing.  My mentor told me this...

"Always remember that Love IS the greatest power in the Universe, as you well know--and it is another name for "God". Alongside of this, always remember that "what you FIGHT, fights back"--always. So, be on FIRE with Love, and never knowingly, try to fight anything...but allow it to be, bless the naysayers and find something to love about anything or anyone who starts to "feel" like an enemy.

In other words, those who make you feel like they want to "do battle" are simply crying out for Love--because all of us are in either one place or the other...that, of giving Love, or that of needing Love--and it is always our choice as to which place we stand.

Oh, how I love that.  And she is right... showing love is the best thing I can ever do... for anyone.  I needed to hear that.  I needed to understand that.  You see, I can be somewhat of a spitfire.  I am 95% sweet/kind/patient and 5% will fight to the end.  (Ok, maybe that percentage is a little off... it might be more like 80/20.  Oh, who are we kidding... it is probably more like 70/30... on a good day.)  Anyhow, I can pretend that it's not me... but it is.  I am embracing the me.  Yes, I am a little spark plug that is very capable of standing up for myself, my family and my beliefs.  I can turn into a mama bear in .5 seconds if need be.  But, I am learning.  If I fight fire with fire, it is me who is going to get burned.  My mentor is right.  Love is the only way to go.

On life.

I have been feeling a bit conflicted about the blog.  I am not a natural-born writer-- at all.  This is me writing my thoughts down with very little editing.  It takes a lot for me to sit down and write because it is not something that I am passionate about.  I don't have that... "oh, I can't wait to write" feeling.  The reason I do write is because I have that "I have something I want to share" feeling.  My hopes and intentions with the blog is to inspire, raise awareness for dwarfism and spread lots of love along the way.  Lately, I have been writing about "big" topics that carry a lot of weight.  The M-word, acceptance, celebrating differences.  Topics that make me want to write because they need to be discussed and shared.  But the truth is... my blog isn't a very good reflection of me and my family.  Dwarfism is such a small part of our lives.  Yes, my daughter was diagnosed with dwarfism and will have this diagnosis the rest of her life.  As a result, she will be physically different.  How much does that play into our daily lives?  Very little.

My goal is to try to merge the blog with our real lives in attempts to share what we are all about.  For those who follow along on Facebook (Dream Big Little One page)... you seeing a little more... For those who follow along on Instagram (dreambiglittleones)... you are seeing the real us.  I post 4-5 pictures everyday of our real lives.  The pretty, the fun, the messy, the silly.  That's us.  I am going to put the love and the real life back into the blog and hang up the fight.  Not meaning that I won't stand up to others and raise awareness for dwarfism... not meaning I won't discuss important topics.  Not meaning I wont share what I am learning in this amazing journey.  It simply means that I am going to do it my way.  In this blog, we will laugh, smile and carry on because THAT is what we are all about.

On happiness.

I mentioned my mentor above... she happens to be my grandmother's cousin.  She just turned 81 this week.  She has so much wisdom to share... I love that she takes the time to share it with me.  Luckily, this past year, I have met so many inspiring women from around the country, that I also call mentors.  And I have learned all about this one word: happiness.  It is something I have been chasing for years.  If I only had this... if I only accomplished that... if this would happen... then I would be happy.  I chased it around and around and it was early on in my journey of living post-diagnosis that I realized... I would never catch it that way.  I learned that happiness is a choice.  Sometimes, if you have the world on a silver spoon, it is an easy choice.  Sometimes, the cards you are dealt are not favorable and it becomes a difficult choice.  But, a choice nonetheless.  I have watched mamas in their 30's with small children deal with a cancer diagnosis with grace.  They chose to look for the rainbow in gray skies.  I have seen mamas with children with disabilities turn from devastated to utterly ecstatic with the mastering of a small milestone.  They chose the glass half full.  I have seen mamas whose babies earned their angel wings far before their time.  They chose to praise God.  

Happiness isn't when you get more, do more, are more.  Happiness isn't yesterday or tomorrow or in five years.  Happiness isn't earned or deserved or awarded.  Happiness isn't found by comparing, judging or measuring.  Happiness isn't found by being perfect, having it all together or looking a certain way. 

Happiness is you filling your cup with things that bring you joy.  It is finding small moments each day that cause you to break into smile.  It is feeling like you and being completely comfortable doing so.  It is looking at the people in your life and appreciating the good.  It is being content with what you have and going after your dreams at the same time.  It is loving & living to your fullest.  It is laughing.  It is dancing.  It is being giddy.  

When I had it all, I was too busy chasing more that I didn't notice.  When I found out about Lilah's diagnosis my world came crashing down.  I thought, "How will I ever be happy?"  Let me tell you.  She was my ticket to happiness.  She made me realize all of these secrets that I never knew.  I am so much more me now than I have ever been.  I am a better wife, a better friend, a better mama.  And that, was my choice.  And this is me... living my dream.  And this is me... sharing... the story of us.  

What we've been up to the last couple of weeks... oh, just things that make us happy...

taking time to smell the flowers

 she liked them too... and would eat them

blowing bubbles

 loving the lake

feeding the fish

growing his garden

loving Nana's zinnias              

 At Nana & Pawpaw's

such a fish

her too

 checking off lots from the summer bucket list

loving summer

loving life

She's Big Enough for Me

This past week has left me reeling a little... in a good sort of way, I suppose.  The last post on the m-word got lots of attention.  And for that I am grateful.  I want as many people as possible to read about our story.  I want to take the mystery out of dwarfism.  I want to answer the curious and educate the general public.  It can be a daunting task... and my late grandmother's cousin (who serves as a mentor to me) said it best when she said, that by writing and really putting myself out there, it leaves me with my head poking out of the crowd.  In other words... I am an easy target.  A target for praise.  A target for criticism.  A target for advice-givers and seekers.  These are new shoes for me and I am still trying them on.  But, I have made sure they are several sizes too big because I have plenty more walking to do.

With each passing day I feel the fire inside of me growing larger and larger.  It's my passion that is growing-- and such a paradox it is.  I am loving and I am fighting.  I am fighting because I am loving.  It may be difficult to understand how these two things can co-exist inside one person and yet work simultaneously and seamlessly together.  Yet, that is what is happening...

Last weekend I was fighting.  I was standing up against a hate-word that is so unnecessary and has no place in our society. And, I am beyond overjoyed at the number of people that have learned from that post.  "I promise" became my two favorite words and I got to hear them fall on my ears and I got to see them pass by in front of my eyes over and over again.  It was very rewarding to know that our village swelled in size last weekend.  And if you are new to our village.  Welcome.  I'll grab you a chair and some ice-cold lemonade.  Stay awhile.

My work has only just began.  God has chosen this family for Lilah... and I have a purpose to fulfill in His name.  I have lots of big ideas in the works and I am thanking you in advance for your support... more to come.

Back to the paradox... yes I was fighting for the end of the m-word.  But what I didn't get to talk about in that post was the other part of the fire inside of me.  The love.  The love for my family.  For my children.  For their future.  Many comments were directed at the idea that I should teach Lilah to ignore that word.  That I should teach her that "sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me."  That I should teach her to rise above.  And yes, I did not get to go into all of what I will teach her in her lifetime last week... but please don't lose sight of the purpose of that post and please understand that just because I was a fighter, doesn't mean I am not a lover.  I think I can be the best of both which I am convinced, is why God gave her to me.  I do have a lot to teach both of my children.  And in time, I will.  And also in time, I will share with you what I am teaching them.

This is how I look at it (I love analogies... so here you go):

{My daughter, she will be learning to walk soon.  And as her mama, I will go to the path where she will take her first steps and I will scan ahead.  I see a branch, some rocks and a snake.  So, in anticipation, I clear the path for her.  (This is me trying to spread the word to end the word.  I look at her future and I try to educate society on dwarfism.)  I have also been working with Lilah by taking her hands in mine and helping her walk here and there.  She has been pulling up to a stand and we have been practicing those first few steps.  (This is me, teaching her, preparing her, building up her confidence.)  She is ready for the path.  She starts out great as I follow right behind her but, she steps into a little hole.  (Yes, there will be pitfalls along the way that I won't be able to prevent.  Opportunities to learn to watch out for the "holes" in life.)  But I can guarantee I will be there when she falls and help her to get back on her feet til she's off and running.}

It is what any mama would do.  You anticipate, you prepare and teach, you let go, and you offer love and support.  I am doing no different.

But the sphere... many talked about my sphere of influence.  I was told it will never be big enough.  I could never reach enough people to make a difference.  (And I am taking this a step further...) why even try?  Why should I even attempt when I can personally only reach hundreds of people in a country where there are over 300 million and in a world where there are over seven billion people?

Because this is why...  she is why.  How could I teach Lilah that she is big enough if I don't even feel that I am?  If I go through life, "How many people can I reach, why should I even try?"  What kind of message is that sending her?  You don't have to be big to do big things.  I will teach her that you can be big if you believe in yourself and you never give up on your dreams.   I will teach her this by showing her this.  I will be big enough.

She's Big Enough For Me

I hold you in my arms cooing and goo-gooing as others pass us by
"How old is she? She's so little," they say in the blink of an eye.

"Yes, she is my little one."  But I wish that they could see
The love and joy behind those eyes... "She's big enough for me."

Fast forward a few years and she's running round and round
with all the other kiddos playing at the school playground.

"She can't play... she's too small," the children all agree.
Her brother stands up to the crowd, "She's big enough for me."

The bus lets off, the kids file in, she enters the sixth grade...
The looks, the stares... she leaves everyone a little bit dismayed.

A girl sits next to her in class, a friend could she be?
She pays no attention to the others, "She's big enough for me."

Cheer tryouts have begun; she attempts to make the team.
The nay-sayers have come out-- ready to crush her dream.

The coach watches her perform and cheer so effortlessly.
He tells her she's made the squad, "She's big enough for me."

Scholarships and SAT's and applications to send in.
She writes essays about her life-- but which college to attend?

The admissions receives her application with her biography.
They love it, they love her, "She's big enough for me."

She finds her mission and stands behind it one-hundred and ten percent
She speaks to many and then to thousands at each and every event.

She's a teacher, a fighter, and a lover all to the -nth degree 
And then they all stand up and say, "She's big enough for me."

He caught her eye and sheepishly asked for her on a date
Who would have thought that silly glance would find her a soulmate?

He asked her father for her hand and got on bended knee
"I want to spend my life with you... you're big enough for me."

And now a lifetime has gone by and she's sitting on her porch.
She looks up to heaven and thanks God for giving her the torch.

The lives she's touched, the love she's spread, the way she's lived so free...
Her heart is full, she's done His work... "I'm big enough for me."

And when it's time for heaven to open up the pearly gate,
She stands before and smiles already knowing of her fate.

He winks at her and hands over the shiny and golden key.
So proud of her is He, "She's big enough for me."

Learning to wave and say "dada"

Mounting all by himself is a big deal.

Enough hair to finally wear a clip.

One of our favorite places: the barn.

"Midget"-- Let's talk about this.

Here I am as a parent so passionate about what I am about to write that my stomach is in knots, my palms balmy and my neck hairs standing straight out.  In other words, it might be necessary to take a deep breath and gain some courage to keep going... but that is exactly what I am going to do.  Because, that's all I know.

Midget.

This word.  This word that I do not like.  This word that I wish didn't exist.  This word that causes pain,  creates insecurity and passes judgement.  This word, that less than one year ago today, never crossed my mind.  Fast forward time... it's in my mind and now I want it in yours.

Midget.

Hear it again because I want you to know about this word.  I didn't know... I honestly did not know this word was a derogatory word (meaning... it is considered a slur, condescending, hurtful, negative in connotation).  I didn't know because my life experiences up until last October did not lead me to a place where I had learned about this word.  I didn't know.  That doesn't mean I was using this word freely or ever, but it certainly wasn't on the same list as the n-word to describe someone of African-American descent or the r-word to describe someone with intellectual disabilities.  

Midget.

Listen.  Listen good and listen hard.  Add it to that list.  This word is just as offensive to people born with dwarfism as the other derogatory words named above are offensive to particular individuals.  And with that said, they should be offensive to all of us.  We know better than to say those words... and good for us for knowing better and putting an end to hate speech.  Thank God we can "spread the word to end the word."  Here's our word.  This word that I never thought about a short time ago.  Let me tell you... it's on my mind.  Is it on yours yet?

Midget.

People see me out and about with Lilah and now they are starting to ask questions about her littleness.  And, it is interesting to me that people want to know why.  Why is she so little?  And the truth is... I would want to know too if I were them.  Curiosity is a natural instinct that I understand.  I too am very curious in nature.  And I see nothing wrong with being curious and asking questions with the intention  to learn.  I welcome that.  So much.  And so...here is the "why" referring to this word: (besides the fact that it's derived from midge... a small-blood sucking insect,  and if that isn't rude enough) back a couple of hundred years ago it started out describing proportionately short-statured individuals.  It wasn't considered negative then.  That changed with society when those of short-stature were ridiculed for their size and put on public display with the intention of utter humiliation.  On purpose, public humiliation... for how they were born.  Ouch.  That happened.  And Thank God I am a mama in 2013 and not then, because the good Lord knows I would have gone ballistic on the townspeople and stoned them all to death if that were my baby up there.  Just sayin'.  So technically, what should a person born with dwarfism be referred to as?  Generally speaking I think Lilah would like to be referred to as... Lilah.  But I know there are times, especially when answering those questions that I do need to use terminology to talk about Lilah's diagnosis.  (I will just add that individuals in the Little People community feel differently about these various words...some like more than others... we are all still learning what's comfortable for each of us.)  But I will say, it is considered politically correct to use the words dwarf, little person, person of short-stature and person with dwarfism.

Midget.

Uggghhhhh, that word.  I hear it, I've heard it, I did nothing... I learned something last week.  Something important about being on the sidelines versus being in the game.  My husband asked me if I had heard about the controversy surrounding Cafe Press this past week.  (Click on Cafe Press to hear the whole story but in short, this company was creating products i.e. hats, coffee mugs, apparel... with slogans such as "Midgets were put on this planet for our amusement. Use them as you will.")  I told him I had, but that I am filling my mind with positivity and that I was choosing not to focus on the negative.  He was surprised at my answer and he said that it was a big victory for short-statured people (and for everyone) when the company decided to remove all these degrading products.  Yes, if others acted like me and sat on the sidelines and did nothing... who knows who could have been hurt, influenced and desensitized by the use of this word?  Thank God others were not like me and Thank God someone or someones did something.  Sitting on the sidelines is helping no one.  I learned this last week.  I am now in the game ready to play.

Midget.

Uh-huh... I have to address this word.  And I was thinking about this when I was watching ESPN with my husband a few weeks ago.  They were featuring a story about a man whose daughter had Down Syndrome.  He ran marathons with her and pushed this beautiful five year old every mile of every race.  When he was interviewed, they asked him about her.  He said lots of things that "hit" him but it was his love for her that "hit home" the most.  And then this... he said, "My biggest fear in life is that she is going to be called a retard."  He cried.  My heart broke into little pieces and I cried.  I thought about his statement.  A lot.  And I wondered if I shared the same fear... and after much thought, I realized... I don't.  I look at it like this... I will never be able to control what people say.  My daughter will most likely hear this word in her lifetime.  To her face.  On purpose.  It could happen.  My biggest fear is not that it could happen, it's that I have not prepared her for dealing with how to react.  That's my job as a parent.  But, it is also my job to educate and meet ignorances (intentional and unintentional) head on with knowledge.

Midget.

I am telling you in case you didn't already know about this word.  And if you didn't, it's ok. Really.  This is not me angry, not me blaming, not me pointing fingers, not me judging.  No.  And as a former teacher, you only know what you have been taught... so this is me teaching.  Now, this is me begging... go and be a teacher too.  If you know me, if you have read our story, if you have a place in your heart for my daughter and for her future, your future, your kids' future, the world's future... teach about this word.  I am a big believer that people are generally good.  And in my experience with Lilah, people are great.  Just knowing you are taking time to read this already tells me about your heart.  Thank you.  Stand up against this word and other hate words.  Teach your children that there is no place for such words in our society-- I already know you are.  Lead.  Lead with intention and by example.  Lead on purpose for a purpose. 

Midget.

Please.  This is one mama trying to reach out to others... Last week I wrote to average-height parents with a child born with dwarfism.  This week I am writing to the general public.  Perhaps I will be someone's only connection to dwarfism.  And I am hoping that's enough to be sensitive to this word.  Please hear me and help me... if this word is in your life-- remove it.  If it is on your Facebook page, if it is in a joke you tell, if you use it sarcastically to describe little things, if you are around someone who uses this word... do something about it.  

Midget.

What I want from you... yeah you.  Time to get in the game.  I am asking something really simple from you that can/will make a difference.  Here are three things you can do to help me, pick one or do all three: 1. Repost this blog on your Facebook page.  I guarantee, someone watching your feed is average height and needs to hear this message.  They need to know.  Be an influence.  Help the movement. 2. Comment on this post either in the comments here on the blog or on the Facebook link where you saw this post and type in these words: I promise. And what that means to me is that you promise you will be a part of the solution and not a part of the problem. 3. When you hear this word... think about my babygirl.  She is seven months old.  Think about it hitting her ears.  Think about how it would make her feel.  And why?  Why does she ever need to hear this word and be made fun of for her physical appearance?  For the way God made her?  Stand up.  Get in the game.  

Midget.

You heard it... it's in your mind.  Does it feel like I am name-calling, repeating it over and over like a bully would do?  Does it cut deeper and deeper each time your eyes graze over that word?  It's uncomfortable-- I'm glad.  That means... you are aware, you are sensitive, it doesn't feel good to keep hearing this word.  For any of us.  So I am taking it and crumpling it up and throwing it over my shoulder.  Who's with me?