The Word "Little"

I recently read an article from a gentleman with dwarfism.  He happens to be a professor at a college and smart as a whip.  His article focused on his perspective of dwarfism... what it felt like to be a dwarf, how he fought his whole life to prove his worth and how he hated the word little.

Hmmmmmm... the word little.

Words are words.  They mean something, describe something, help us understand our world.  Whether we like it or not, we are all associated with words.  Sometimes we are lucky and can choose certain words that are ours.  Other times, words are chosen for us... but their still ours.  Sometimes these words makes us happy and other times, so sad.  Different people see us differently and can have their own set of words to use to describe us.  Words hurt, words help, words love.

 My words go like this: creative, loving, brunette, determined, spirited, stubborn, smart, thoughtful, cheapskate, freckled, dreamer and last be not least... lanky.  That's right.  I can tend to look a little like Gumby and... I am aware of the resemblance.

Some of those go hand-in-hand with my personality.  Some of them I work hard for.  Some of them I have always been.  But these are my words.  And even though some of them I would like to shake right off, I can't.  It's who I am.

And with my Lilah... one of her many words will always be little.

And while I understand the professor's point-of-view and I can appreciate his story... I look at the word little so differently.

Disclaimer: {And I should mention before I go any further, that I am not a little person, nor can I fully understand what it is like to be a little person.  So with that said, maybe I am way off-base but I am still going to write it because I think it.}

Little.  I understand the professor felt like he had to prove himself his whole life to make up for his short-stature.  I understand that he felt like he had to press upon people his integrity.  I really do.  But... and there is a big but... (and I am laughing that I just wrote that... but it is what I mean... and now let's be serious)...

Can't we just embrace the little?

And even though I am trying to be serious and I have a serious point to make, my glass of wine is making me write this next line... in the words of Lady Gaga, "Baby, I was born this way."  And what a way to be.  (Maybe my disclaimer should have been about the glass of wine seeing how it has been void from my life for a year.  Thanks to pregnancy.  Thanks to baby.  Happy to have a glass of wine every now and again.)

I love that Lilah gets this word little.  It is soooo her.  Her little squishy nose, her little chubby legs, her little shy smile when I get her from nap.  Her little giggle at daddy, her little belly button, her little toes that curl around my finger.  All of these things make me smile so big.  And selfishly, I am glad that my girl gets to stay little a little longer just so I can savor these memories of her forever more.  I love my little.  I love everything about my babygirl.

And for the record... little is just one of her many, many words.  We don't have just one, you know.  She is going to reveal her secrets of who she is and fill in the blanks of what her words will be... but not yet.  You see... she likes to keep me guessing.  She just shows glimmers of her personality and leaves me hungry for more and more.  But, each day she delivers and I get to see a little more into her world-- the world of who she will become.  It is a world I am desperate to learn about... but I know in time I will.

And to tell you the truth, it wouldn't surprise me if some of her words sounded like this: big {personality}, giant {zest for life}, huge {heart}.  Big and little... they go together like fish and the sea.

And as for when she gets older?  She may have to prove herself and be her own advocate.  She may have to stand up for what she believes is right or wrong.  And as her mama, I hope all of these things for her for they will make her fierce.  But for now, I am enjoying my little one and wishing each day she stays little in my arms and I pray that she always looks at me with those deep blue eyes and smiles and gushes and squeals at her mama.

And that word little... well, it is my new favorite word.  And it will always be.